Andy
06-16-2009, 10:10 PM
With gas prices rising and the economy sinking, it's getting more expensive to get from the unemployment office to the soup kitchen. Here's ten ways to get around for free without walking and with tongue planted firmly in cheek.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Rails.jpgRide The Rails
Pros: It worked for our hobo forefathers during The Great Depression.
Cons: Extremely dangerous, could lose a limb like hobo forefather one-armed Jimbo.
Photo Credit: SHAFIQ ALAM/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Company_Car.jpgGet A Company Car
Pros: You don't have to pay for the gas or upkeep.
Cons: There's often no way to choose what you get, could be ice cream man.
Photo Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Steal.jpgSteal A Car
Pros: Not only is it free, you get to choose the car you want.
Cons: Not only is it illegal, you could get shot.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Arrest.jpgGet Arrested
Pros: For the price of public intoxication you can ride in the back like a celebrity.
Cons: Hopefully, where you're going is near the police station.
Photo Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_President.jpgBecome President
Pros: The GMC Topkick-based Cadillac One (http://jalopnik.com/5131380/obamas-new-cadillac-limo-officially-unveiled) is the nicest armored car in the world.
Cons: Being President is hard.
Photo Credit: MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Date_Car.jpgDate Someone With A Car
Pros: When you've got a special lady or fella in your life with a car it means not having to drive anywhere.
Cons: Tick off your significant other and you'll be hitching a ride home with your microwave and toothbrush.
Photo Credit: Eric FEFERBERG/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Transformer.jpgBefriend A Transformer
Pros:Transformers are fast and come well-equipped with weapons.
Cons: Literally, as in there's always a chance you'll be stuck in an interstellar war with evil Decepticons.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Hitchhike.jpgHitchhike
Pros: Just stick out your thumb and meet new people, go to exciting places.
Cons: Just stick out your thumb and meet creepy people who want to wear your ears on a belt.
Photo Credit: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Kidnapp.jpgGet Kidnapped
Pros: Piss off the mob enough times and you'll get a free ride in the spacious trunk of a Cadillac El Dorado.
Cons: The trip often ends with concrete shoes and a free swim.
Photo Credit: Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_AutoJourno.jpgBecome An Automotive Journalist
Pros: Automakers will fly you somewhere to drive their cars.
Cons: Sometimes those cars are crossovers.
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http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Rails.jpgRide The Rails
Pros: It worked for our hobo forefathers during The Great Depression.
Cons: Extremely dangerous, could lose a limb like hobo forefather one-armed Jimbo.
Photo Credit: SHAFIQ ALAM/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Company_Car.jpgGet A Company Car
Pros: You don't have to pay for the gas or upkeep.
Cons: There's often no way to choose what you get, could be ice cream man.
Photo Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Steal.jpgSteal A Car
Pros: Not only is it free, you get to choose the car you want.
Cons: Not only is it illegal, you could get shot.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Arrest.jpgGet Arrested
Pros: For the price of public intoxication you can ride in the back like a celebrity.
Cons: Hopefully, where you're going is near the police station.
Photo Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_President.jpgBecome President
Pros: The GMC Topkick-based Cadillac One (http://jalopnik.com/5131380/obamas-new-cadillac-limo-officially-unveiled) is the nicest armored car in the world.
Cons: Being President is hard.
Photo Credit: MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Date_Car.jpgDate Someone With A Car
Pros: When you've got a special lady or fella in your life with a car it means not having to drive anywhere.
Cons: Tick off your significant other and you'll be hitching a ride home with your microwave and toothbrush.
Photo Credit: Eric FEFERBERG/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Transformer.jpgBefriend A Transformer
Pros:Transformers are fast and come well-equipped with weapons.
Cons: Literally, as in there's always a chance you'll be stuck in an interstellar war with evil Decepticons.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Hitchhike.jpgHitchhike
Pros: Just stick out your thumb and meet new people, go to exciting places.
Cons: Just stick out your thumb and meet creepy people who want to wear your ears on a belt.
Photo Credit: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_Kidnapp.jpgGet Kidnapped
Pros: Piss off the mob enough times and you'll get a free ride in the spacious trunk of a Cadillac El Dorado.
Cons: The trip often ends with concrete shoes and a free swim.
Photo Credit: Getty Images
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/06/Free_Ride_AutoJourno.jpgBecome An Automotive Journalist
Pros: Automakers will fly you somewhere to drive their cars.
Cons: Sometimes those cars are crossovers.
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